The first Shiva Ratri of the year 2026—a sacred day to defeat Apasmara, the dwarf demon who resides within me. This ignorant consciousness drifts toward the glitter of gold, where artificial shimmers often subdue the shining sun waiting for its rendezvous with us. Muyalaka is maya itself, pulling us toward the unreal. The dwarf demon represents the spiritual ignorance and ego of humankind. That is where the Aham is generated.
The Sahasrara, located at the
crown of the head, is the dwelling place of my Mahadeva—Mahadeva in the form of
beauty, the beauty of Nataraja performing the cosmic dance and smiling
radiantly as we unite. You are none other than my soul, pure and unadulterated.
As I feel your presence on the crown chakra, unfolding each petal of the violet
rays of consciousness, I smile within, for I know you are my shakti, you are my
soul.
Mahadeva is neither god nor
ritual—Mahadeva is every breath of being. The purest form bestowed upon me by
him manifests in moments where light prevails—not the light of lamps or stage,
but the light of consciousness itself. Nataraja dances as me, as those I see
before me—cool, fearless, and limitless. I plead to you, dear Nataraja, to my
Adi and my Ananta: grant humankind the intention to live with kindness.
Let me share with you a moment
when this truth revealed itself to me. Have you ever entered the sanctum of the
Matrimandir in Auroville, where light falls upon the crown of the head at the
Bai-Hui point? Bai-Hui is the highest point located at the peak of the skull.
That beam of light from the ceiling feels like a direct tête-à-tête with the
Sun God. I have experienced this. As I looked up, it felt magical—the demon was
liquefying as Nataraja found balance, with one foot aligned through my
kundalini. He smiled, whispering, "Here, finally we met! I was waiting to
meet you." I couldn't speak. Like a child, I wept as he took his rightful
throne within me.
My mind, so restless; my mind, so insecure, met him. A dwarf demon living within me sometimes laughs like Ravana—Ravana, so filled with talent but drunk with ego. Your cosmic dance found a place on the crown of my head, at Bai-Hui. I am calm now, for he has balanced himself on my Sahasrara. He who is my Mahadeva, he who is me—me with my incompleteness. He who is Nataraja completes me!
A faint song came along… I recognised it, a favourite!
Karde mujhe mujhse hi
riha
I smiled again and hummed along:
Manke mere ye bharam,
kacche mere ye karam,
leke chale hai kaha?
Main to jaanu naa…
Tu hai mujh mein samaya,
kaha leke mujhe aaya
Main hoon tujh mein samaya, tere peeche chala aaya
Tera hi main ek saya…
It continued!
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